We often think criticism will force us to act. We love to berate ourselves, talking about how “bad” we’ve been behavior-wise with food, and getting down on ourselves.
Why do we do this?
Well, I think it goes back to our childhoods. When we were young, criticism (or fear of it) often motivated us. Many of my clients (and myself) grew up with parents
or other authority figures in life who were highly critical. We were inexperienced with handling emotions and, because our parents were critical, it’s a pretty sure bet they didn’t know how to handle emotion and couldn’t teach us those skills either.
Why doesn’t it work anymore?
We are adults now. Even when we don’t take full responsibility and act like it, we’ve put in the years and blown out many birthday candles. We’ve developed a strong (and healthy) rebellious streak, so necessary in adulthood. That anger and pissy-ness says “You’re not the boss of me! You think I look fat? So what! Give me a cupcake!”
So, when our “inner parent voice” gets down on us, berates us, criticizes or compares us to others, our “inner child voice” screams “YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!!”
These two can get in a battle royale that takes time, energy and emotion. The result?
NOTHING.
Nothing happens. No progress occurs. We never take that excess weight off. We’re stuck. On an endless mental teeter-totter, we vacillate between criticism and rebellion. Dieting and binging. Eating too little and eating too much.
Is that where you are today? It might be time to get the critical adult voice and the sensitive child voice inside OUT OF THE WAY. Sweep them aside. Clear the way for real conscious choice in life.
Remember, comparison is not loving. Criticism is cruel. Doubly so when we do it to ourselves.
