Talk about a “Food Decision” wall!! I hit it hard this week. Take a bit of fatigue and add several last-minute twists to a schedule that was a tad too tight in the first place, and all of a sudden food decisions become hard. I found myself saying, “I don’t want to DECIDE what to eat. It’s too much work. I just want someone to make dinner miraculously appear for my family and me.”
My clients describe this place of indecision and frustration a lot! Today, women work so hard in their careers and have so many additional responsibilities PLUS they are often expected to also fulfill the traditional “wife” duties of social planning, intra-family communication, scheduling, housework and meal planning/preparation. Overscheduling is a way of life. It can be a huge burden to carry.
The Food Decision Wall is that point when there’s nothing in the house to feed the kids except raw carrots and dog food and you’re seriously considering which would be more nutritious. It’s when you scream, “I NEED A WIFE!” It’s when you KNOW the best possible solution is to grab the phone for … FAST FOOD DELIVERY!
This is a very seductive “jumping off point” for anyone who is changing their eating habits or trying to reduce body weight. This is when you feel that inner 4-year-old, who resides deep inside all of us, whine, “I can’t possibly made a decision about dinner. The kids can just eat toast. What do they expect of me anyway?”
If you’re dieting, the diet ends here.
Even if you’ve gotten off the diet merry-go-round, healthy eating can be tough to maintain when the takeout and easy-to-get foods are all greasy, salty and full of preservatives.
This is what was different for me this week: I noticed how I felt when I reached critical mass. When that thought “DINNER… FAMILY… I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT…” entered my head, I recognized it right away. My next thought was “chinese or pizza?”
I watched it float into my brain.
I noticed neither one sounded good at all. Just yuck. My mind went hunting for other possibilities and they didn’t sound too good either. I tried to conjure even more exotic and tempting food options. I was trying to get myself out of the “yuck.” Like more calories were the point!
Then it hit me.
Maybe I can’t think of anything, maybe NOTHING sounds good… because I don’t need food. I scanned my body, found the aforementioned fatigue and stress, but there was really no hunger there.
I was exhausted.
“STEP AWAY FROM THE FOOD, M’AM!”
So, while we often try to overcome this point of critical mass with MORE flavor, or MORE food variety, or even EXTREME flavors… or new types of food we haven’t tried before, what we really need is to simply STEP BACK and see the bigger picture of what is happening to us.
What’s there?
It might be boredom, frustration, dis-engagement, disconnection, anger, or even a big case of fatigue, as I discovered in my situation.
We are so well-trained that food can solve any problem that it becomes our usual response… even when our bodies are, deep down, crying “NO FOOD!”
But more food, or more extreme food, is never the answer. Instead, when over-tired, taking a step back and unplugging from food helps in many ways:
1. You can see the “want” or need that has nothing to do with food.
2. Food becomes unimportant, and actually looks kind of silly.
3. You keep your decisions and emotions “clean” and discernible.
4. You are better able to offer yourself the emotional support you need.
What I discovered I needed was some quiet.
Some peace.
Some down time.
After several weeks of very hectic work, I simply needed to unplug. That’s what my “food blahs” were communicating to me.
And peace, I discovered, has no calories whatsoever.
OK you have been in my head!! seriously…especially the part about tired of making food decisions…I feel that often…especially when I have had a stressed out! I could definitely do without eating at this point but as a Mom and wife I am still responsible for the feeding of my family. That is the where the fast food or take out comes in and then of course I eat it too.
I used to do batch cooking, think I need to return there so on those brain dead days I can just pull something out and cook it.
Great idea about batch cooking – also, how do we make sure we are hungry when we eat, not just eating to keep somebody company? My husband and 17-yr-old son are ALWAYS hungry and, if I ate every time they do, I’d be back at 240 lbs. in no time!
This really hits home for me. Like Trish, though, I am constantly responsible for coming up with meals for my family. Time & over scheduling are usually always a factor. I have come to realize that it’s the season of life we are in with two teenagers, and a pre-teen in the house. I definitely see the problem, but I am still not sure what the answer is. I know the answer is to take a step back. But then you still have the hubby and kids saying “What’s for dinner?”
Possible answers:
“Whatever you want (and are willing to make/buy/kill/find)!”
“It’s up to you. I’m on a break.”
“I’ll have whatever you decide to prepare! Thank you!”
“I think there’s dog food in the storage bin.”
“I sure appreciate you are worried about dinner. Please take care of that, will you?”
“I think it’s your turn to worry about that.”
I totally agree with your post Pat…..but what happens is that I still need to feed the family. Stepping away for just me is perfect. But not so much for them.
Oh my gosh I know this all to well! For me it just becomes to overwhelming to think of cooking a healthy meal after a long day sometimes. I am getting better at it though 😉
It is easy to think that we (mom’s) are the only ones who know how but the truth is is we plan ahead a bit and share the plan with others who can cook in our house then it is rather easy for them to help keep things going in the right direction.
Don’t we all just wish we would have been raised that when in a hurry we instantly throw a salad together lol. That would be awesome!