Happy 2010!!

Though I don’t make resolutions, I do make goals for myself and for my business, Catalyst Coaching, every year. What’s the difference? Well, a goal is something you work towards, focus on, create. A resolution pretends that life changes on a dime – that, at 12:01 a.m. on January 1st, we’ll somehow change and our behavior will be different than before.

It rarely happens.

Goals, on the other hand, inspire plans and plans insure execution, and that’s when things start to happen.

I also love to look ahead to a new year and envision positive new changes for my clients and readers. Here are a few of my wishes for you, me and the world this year.

Each of them is wrapped in fondness and tied up with a ribbon of my belief in you.

1. Let’s redefine “selfish.”

Most of us are taught that “selfish” is bad, wicked or terrible. “Selfish” merely means “focused on self.” We’re taught to feel shame if we are focused on ourselves, though we literally have to be selfish to survive! Often our families’ well-being and happiness hinges on our selfishness too!

If we aren’t focused on ourselves…

we won’t survive!

And if we aren’t selfish enough to care for ourselves deeply, we’ll never be able to take care of others, including our families.

“Selfish” is very different than “self-centered”, “self-indulgent” or “self-aggrandizing.” I believe we get these definitions mixed up.

Before I had a child, I used to scoff at the airline attendants as they warned passengers “put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then your child.”

“How ridiculous!” I would mutter under my breath. “Of course the mask goes on the kid first!!!!!”

It was only after I had my son and was traveling with him that I got it. “If I don’t have oxygen, he never gets a chance at breathing again.”

Duh! I got it, but it felt strange. My mind fought it with a deeply engrained mantra saying “Others come first.” (Not so strangely, it was my mother’s voice saying it!)

However, that concept changed my attitude about eating well and going to the gym. Instead of “I don’t have time to work out,” I found myself saying, “If I don’t get to the gym, my child might not have a mother.”

Period. The end. Nothing to add. Move your butt.

2. Let’s see connections, not dissonance. (Or, my favorite question – “What’s perfect about this?”)

There are lots of connections out there – between people, ideas, even trends. Yet, we tend to focus on what’s wrong, what we don’t have, and what frustrates us.

Seeing connections, as well as the perfection of what might be frustrating us, is so valuable. For instance, if we feel frustrated with our weight… it’s not really about the frustration. It’s the body communicating to us. The body creates frustration because it is crying for attention and love.

So, instead of heaping negative emotion onto this frustration and making ourselves “bad”, the question “what’s perfect about this?” leads us to the answer “my body is saying it wants less weight.”

EUREKA! The energy of that realization is powerful.

3. Let’s focus on the big picture.

We all have a big picture in our life. And yet we focus on the small stuff, the details, and the minutia of life. In weight loss, it’s more important who we are being in life than what celebrity diet we might be following.

What’s the big picture of your life? Are you becoming who you were meant to be? Are you making progress? Or are you hiding behind excess weight and an off/on diet that distracts you from what you really want to achieve in this lifetime?

4. Let’s get RESULTS instead of reasons.

There are 1,000,001 reasons to skip the gym, snuggle on the couch with comfort food, or pig out at a family party. But reasons and excuses don’t get lead to results. In fact, they divert us from results.

2010 is THE YEAR for fewer excuses and more success stories.

Yeah!

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