I just had my heart ripped out by a new client. Janet* came to me because she is tired of losing and gaining weight. Her latest experience was with a diet doctor who was fixated on dietary fat. He gave her a very low fat diet and, feeling desperate, she began to eradicate fat from her diet. Janet is an all-or-nothing kind of gal. She made every attempt to be “perfect” on the diet. When her weight loss slowed, she’d cut fat further. Most reasonable, healthy diets suggest approximately 30% of our daily food intake should be fat. Janet wound up making 10% of her weekly diet fat.
She lost weight. She was elated. She lost 80 lbs in 6 months. When I heard her say this, I held my breath. I knew what was coming.
At the end of 6 months, she was thinner but very confused. Her hair was falling out. Her skin hung on her body. Her skin was dull and flaky. Her stomach was constantly upset. The cravings were intense. When she finally ate some cheese one day, she almost got sick – it tasted like oil and was so rich her stomach couldn’t handle it. But, despite the poor reaction from her body, she ate fat again, and again. She went on a high-fat binge that lasted 3 months. When she “came to”, she realized she had regained 65 lbs. in 3 months.
These are the stories that hurt… so much good intention, so much hard work and deprivation… leading to a complete regain of the lost weight.
During my own weight loss of 70+ lbs. and the ten years that I’ve maintained that weight loss, I have developed and taught The Catalyst System for Permanent Weight Loss. The first Catalyst Permanent Weight Loss Principle is
“Don’t give up any food to lose weight that you can’t give up for life.”
Here are five reasons why:
1. You’ll crave the food more. Depriving the body of protein, carbohydrate or fat sets up powerful need in the body. On these types of diets, the body literally canibalizes its own flesh. Sooner or later, that sets off the body’s survival alarms – these are life or death instincts and they are powerful enough to overcome our most ardent hopes for a thin body.
2. You’ll give the food power. By banishing one particular type of food, we are drawn into a power struggle attempting to control our responses to it.
3. You’ll gain the weight back when you resume eating it. Unfortunately, I hear stories like Janet’s all the time. The same thing happens with sugar. Banish it completely and you’ll lose weight (I’ve done this one a couple times) but the weight will always come back, unless you’re willing to give up that food for life.
4. You’ll make it a “bad” food. When we label foods “bad”, we often start a love/hate affair with them. This on/off good/bad diet mentality locks us into a battle we can never win.
5. Compulsions grow from denial. Compulsions are a hallmark of disordered eating and can lead to a severely debilitating relationship with food.
Tempting food is a fact of life. Rather than becoming embroiled in a food war, develop new ways of enjoying reasonable amounts of any food you really enjoy.
*I am a professional coach who is credentialed by the International Coach Federation (ICF). ICF ethics guarantee client confidentiality. If I relate a client’s story, it is because I have obtained his or her permission. Janet is a pseudonym chosen by my client who wanted to share her story in the hopes it would help others.
You are so wise and sensible in your approach to eating well, Pat. Thank you for the sanity!!
Depirvation just doesn’t cut it. I think your list of five reasons is very sound and I plan to remember them! Thanks for the insight and I hope your client is able to lose the weight in a healthy permanent way.
Thank you once again for sharing such great advice Pat. You make perfect sense and I am going to definately take your words to heart. I feel for Janet what a mess for her to unravel. Thank goodness she came to you and will be able to overcome with your help.
You are right, Shannon. She’s a real trooper for facing it. The hard part is being patient while our bodies re-adjust and recalibrate the metabolism after such a blow. But it can be done! Thanks for commenting. I hope these posts help those who might be considering a drastic effort at weight loss. I had a doctor’s appointment Monday and a woman in the waiting room had a brochure for VLC (very low calorie – essentially liquid diets). I couldn’t help myself! I shook my head and she said, “I don’t think I could do this – liquids for months?” I begged her not to. Liquid diets and fasting have a 100% fail rate. It’s just not worth it.
Let’s get real, validated information (I only teach from medical research) and stop renting weight loss!
You know…I always feel so good after reading your posts because I’m reminded that I’m doing things the right way. I’ve lost 80 pounds since April of last year, and I’m on track to hit my first 100 pounds by my year mark.
To others that seems quick, but the truth is I lose an average of 2 pounds per week. And I’m pretty consistent because I still enjoy foods that I liked before once in a while.
I believe I’ll be successful and maintain that success because I’m not doing anything today that I don’t plan to do for the rest of my life.
Janet is facing this head on, and I know that you’ll be there to coach her through. And if she can adapt to painfully difficult and unhealthy diets, then I’m quite sure that she can take small steps to change her life instead.
I won’t win a prize for quickest weight-loss, but I’m not interested in that. Instead, I’m committed to becoming healthy and strong, And Janet has taken the first step towards that same commitment. I wish her all the best in reaching her goal and maintaining it.
That’s an excellent point Kenz! If she can do something drastic, she can do something simple. The challenge there will be in believing that it “is enough” and maintaining focus and motivation. That’s where I think coaching will be very helpful to her. I’m glad you’re focusing on being healthy and strong. We don’t have any control over the genetics or shape of our bodies, but we do have lots to say about healthy and strong. When I was losing my 70+ pounds, that’s all I thought about: strong. And I’ve had lots of marriage proposals at the hardware store when I’m hoisting 50 lb bags of salt or ice melt so I think I achieved that! (Farmers in Wisconsin! They must get the sense I’d be useful on the farm!)