No, I’m not talking about her skimpy outfits or the skinny half-naked dancers flanking her live shows.

Lady Gaga is the most famous woman in music/culture right now, and I don’t think it’s because of her music (although it’s quite good) – it’s because of her message. Music is only part of her life played out as performance art.

Her deeper message to her “little monsters” (her fans) is screw everyone if they don’t like you, be who you are, because, no matter what that might be, that’s perfect.

Lady Gaga at the 2011 Grammy Awards

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20-year old Ryan-Lee Johnson, who heard Gaga say “anyone can feel famous – they just have to feel good about themselves to release their inner fame” and decided to change his life. In the next two years, he lost 80 lbs. and says his confidence grew astronomically.

“It was an epiphany, he says. “Gaga is the first person ever to tell me that it’s OK to be different and it’s OK to be gay.”

It’s OK to be different…

That message rings the chimes of millions of people, especially today’s youth.

It resonates with me. This message shows up daily when I’m coaching my clients. They come to coaching think it’s NOT OK to be different. Many of them have very specific ideas of what “OK” looks and feels like. They think they need to fit into a 2, or they might as well be a size 26… which is where they wind up. (I understand this so well. I grew up feeling incredibly alone, disconnected and definitely different. I ate over my insecurities, all the way up to a size 26 at one point.)

Sometimes, my clients also think they will be rewarded with the “OK” label if they take care of everybody else in their lives first, then use what’s left over for themselves. They don’t know themselves deeply enough to know their own needs.

And they even think acquiring labels (“wife”, “husband”, “mom”, “dad”, “breadwinner”, “CEO”) or money might convince the rest of the world they are OK, even if they don’t believe it.

We are all different, folks. We believe different things and have different values. This can cause conflict. We want different types of lives. That causes frustration, like the feeling I once felt crammed into my little corporate office 12-13 years ago. We even lose weight in widely varying rates and styles.

Frustration, unresolved conflicts, feeling like the “normal” (thin) life is for other people… it’s all a recipe for fat.

So, I like Gaga’s message. Be yourself. Find your own inner fame. If you don’t know who that is after years of pretending, find out.

When I stood on the threshold of my own radical weight loss in 1996, I knew I was going to have to figure out “why” I was behaving in ways that were unhealthy, and I knew I’d have to face myself even if I had no idea what I would find there.

We can do this. We can free ourselves from addictive behaviors and find our real selves, the self that feels famous, the part that doesn’t look like or copy anyone else.

And if you don’t believe me when I say it can be done, just listen to Gaga. She’ll tell you.

Be yourself
Love who you are
Be proud
Never give up on your dreams
Be you
You were born this way

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