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After healing my own food  addiction, I’m always happy and amazed when I open my freezer and see something like this:

milkshakeIt’s a milkshake with a mere few bites left in the bottom, stored in the freezer.

Why does this make me happy?

  • Is it some sort of trick, or sign?
  • Am I taunting myself with “forbidden” foods?
  • Is someone else tempting me or sabotaging my weight loss success?
  • Am I breaking all the “diet rules” by having this in my freezer???

No!

Not only do I have absolutely NO forbidden foods on a mysterious list – which is addictive behavior! – I am responsible for my own actions and no one can SABOTAGE me. My food addiction is healed, a thing of the past.

This is my son’s milkshake.

I might eat ice cream occasionally, if I want it, but milkshakes aren’t my thing.

I’m thrilled when I see this in the freezer because it’s a great big sign of HEALTHY.

First of all, my son is 24 years old, 6’1″ tall and weighs about 160 lbs. From what I can tell, he occasionally has one of these “mixer” shakes with his baseball team, after a game.

He left this in the freezer to finish another time, and he did this freely, of  his own accord. He eats when and what he wants and he STOPS when cued by his body.

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Do you find weight loss confusing?

We hear a thousand new messages every year about how to lose weight – new diets, new approaches, new “bad” foods, new fads, new “don’ts”, and new research, which is almost always paid for by an interested Diet World company.

unhappy-woman-with-weight-loss

We hear very little about how to lose weight and maintain weight loss all the way to a permanent state.

Permanent weight loss is my entire focus. The last time I lost weight was my last. It didn’t just happen that way. I had that determination going into it. And minus 92 pounds and holding steady at 17 years (on March 13, 2017) is damned well permanent in my book.

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I received sad news today… a woman I first met on social media, asking for help to lose weight, has had serious complications from surgery intended to alter her stomach’s ability to hold nutrition (gastric bypass surgery).

After years of pretending she was concerned for her health, I watched her dip in and out of diets, always despondent when they didn’t work. She embraced (and had personal evidence) diets were never going to work, but she preferred to keep “trying”, rather than face herself.

Am I surprised? No. Not really.

This is the saddest part of my work as a professional weight loss coach.

Nurse and doctor examining xray

I’ve helped hundreds directly with coaching and thousands through my online programs, but not everyone wants to lose weight, and lose weight permanently.

Anne (a pseudonym) gave me permission to share her story with you.

She called me for help, but never quite signed on to begin a coaching relationship. Or a class.

She had a million excuses.

Actually, she was waiting for something to force her to act. (We usually wait for something ominous to force our hand – by then, it’s too late.)

Anne wanted someone else to take away her excuses. The rock-and-roll and in-and-out of diets seems comforting after a while, always living in the future, living in hope with no action.

Of course, hope with no action is fantasy.

Anne knows that now.

Really, she didn’t want to change. Most of us don’t!

Many people cling to the thinnest shred of any possible reason NOT to take charge. It’s a big step. They know there are no excuses available after they begin to work with me – they sense I teach an ultimate form of RESPONSIBILITY. (After all, I teach a class in responsibility called Own Every Bite!)

I get it.

I could not have seen my own weight rise to 242 lbs., if I didn’t have to work through the same shit everyone else has to work through to get to a point of change.

And I’ve had more than one potential client decide not to pursue coaching or healing their food addiction, clinging to their “safe” world of food-as-problem-solver and food-as-soothing-agent, and wind up right back in my office a few years later with a breast cancer diagnosis or diabetes (excess weight is a major contributing factor to both). Even then, they don’t quite see the connection of what they have created in their bodies, but their doctor told them to get their act together.

I don’t really want to see you in my enLIGHTen Your Life! Mastermind Class or as an individual coaching client when your doctor sends you… I want you to show up BEFORE that… when there’s still time for you to make positive change and ALTER the path you are traveling, a path that leads to poor health, body breakdown, and loss of power.

I want to see you when you recognize you have choices and are choosing health and self-care over your old martyrdom story of “everyone else comes first.”

No job, no relationship, and even the kids don’t come before your health. If you don’t put the oxygen mask on yourself first, you can’t help them. You won’t be there to help them.

And you’ll have given them a piss-poor example of how to manage life if you can only cope by stuffing your face.

No, you are not hiding that from the kids either. They know fat. Just like they know if you secretly drink, or drug, or cut yourself.

Believe me, I was once in your shoes. I walked that walk, until I got a new one.

 

Here’s what I think keeps most of us from receiving help: 

SHAME

It takes some real humble acceptance to recognize and admit we need help, or need to learn a new way to cope.

We often feel, if we avoid getting help, we’ll solve fat alone, and no one will be the wiser to what we’ve been doing or (worse!) what we’ve been thinking about ourselves. Because we feel a lot of shame about our physical condition.

Here’s what I think encourages us to move beyond addictions:

WORTHINESS

Somewhere, deep inside, you have to know you are worth more than the scraps you are getting in life. After all, if you were getting what you truly need, there would be no drive to augment life with excess food.

  • That boring job, with the stress and headaches? Yes, you can do better.
  • A terrible parent or relative who constantly judges and puts you down? Yes, you can find supportive, loving new “family.”
  • The ungrateful children or siblings, who don’t understand your needs? Yes, we all need to be understood and loved. It’s possible.
  • A spouse or partner who doesn’t hear, see or revere you? This costs a fortune in esteem.
  • The toxic relationship you’ve forged with yourself, where you berate or excuse (or both) yourself for your choices and habits… it’s time to release it.

Overeating is about making up for something, stuffing real feelings, hiding.

We all need to love ourselves enough to choose to live differently.

Thanks for all your emails and FB messages, but nothing in the new article in The New York Times, “After ‘The Biggest Loser,’ Their Bodies Fought to Regain Weight” is news to me.

The article details research showing how the Biggest Loser participants (and anyone rapidly losing weight) regains at an astonishing rate, destroys their metabolism, experiences great shame, and crushes their esteem. CountingLbs

Not only did I discover those truths in my own diet-and-regain merry-go-round of a life, I turned that vital information to my advantage in losing 92 lbs and sustaining the weight loss long-term. (74 lbs sustained since 2000 + another 18 lbs sustained since 2011).

Before that, shame was my middle name as I spent over 20 years losing and regaining.

What burns my butt is the disingenuous nature of the doctors and researchers in this article. You can’t tell me they didn’t understand these concepts, which I was able to learn as a layman in the medical school library. If it is news to them, we need to take a serious look at medical school training today.

Of course, I admit I had to explain it to my brother-in-law, a doctor, who claimed to have heard nothing of it in medical school.

Fat people, he claimed, were weak willed. Oh, brother(in-law)!

Why should I, simply a fairly intelligent woman who conquered a food addiction, be telling the supposed professionals about permanent weight loss?

Much as been written about Oprah Winfrey buying Weight Watchers‘ stock for $40 million dollars and, in just a few days, tripling that investment, when stocks rose.

On the surface, like most media blitzes, the numbers look impressive.

And comics and cartoonists had fun with the idea that Oprah would make MORE money to add to her billions:

oprahcartoon

But beyond the media blitz and the jokes, there is something much more insidious and disappointing about this shoddy deal.

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Holidays are tough for many people but, if you are actively trying to lose weight, the extra stress can be a diet killer. What do successful weight loss survivors do? Here are some helpful weight loss tips from experts and coaches who’ve actually been successful losing weight themselves.

I specifically spoke with experts who understand the concept of sustained weight loss too. This is a big distinction, as permanent weight loss, defined by the medical community as weight loss sticking around over five years, is illusive to many.

10thAnniversary

Research shows permanent weight loss is more likely to result from lifestyle and attitude change. Diets just don’t do the trick for long-term change.

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As he sat across from me in my office, I could see the energy swirling around his head. (I am also an energy healer.)

My client was in a virtual tornado of thought patterns wreaking havoc on his life. As it pressed upon him, the mental rollercoaster of overthinking, worry and anxiety was obvious.FoodDecisions

Today, we live lives that are non-stop continuous pressure and stress for many people, and most of my clients. They are overworked, overscheduled, overbusy, overtired. The result is not just diminished enjoyment of life, but diminished intelligence, cognitive ability and resilience.

Why do we live this way?

To be blunt, we’re looking for validation, security and a feeling of adequacy. And, sadly, running around to please others (whether that’s the boss, the spouse, the parents, the family, the friends who work just as hard) will NEVER give us those things.

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In today’s world, women are stressed, exhausted and waaaaayyyyy too busy.  Is it any surprise excess weight is the result?

When stress hormones run rampant within the body, the addrenal glands are overworked, affecting every gland and organ in the body… and the body is not able to efficiently deal with the toxicity created… fatigue and fat are natural results.

It’s time for a different perspective, especially if you want permanent weight loss.

 

Is this how you gather strength…

cinnamonrolls

 

 

 

so you can take care of everyone else?

MomSon

In the last forty years, women have made tremendous advances in the world, busting down boundaries, raising the glass ceiling, taking more responsibility and wielding more power – and don’t misunderstand me – those are all tremendous accomplishments.

But, there’s a problem.

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