The holiday season is in full swing!  Even if I never saw a house filled with lights, or the Christmas Tree in front of the mall, I would know it was December because my clients’ anxiety levels are rising!  For anyone trying to lose weight, holidays pose more challenges than navigating the line at the Apple store when the latest iPhone is released.

But there’s one way to make holidays easier.  And it doesn’t have anything to do with those silly tips you read in fitness magazines that teach you to CONTROL YOURSELF and CONTROL FOOD.  Like that worked, right?

Holiday weight gain doesn’t have to happen. The easiest way to have a fabulous holiday season and,  incidentally, perhaps change your life, is to examine and STOP making up stories about the holidays and notice how encourages changing habits and behavior with food.

Sometimes, our stories are handed down to us by our families, or society in general.  But, our minds are creative too.  They love to make up stories.  And, it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, we love to believe our stories.

What sort of stories do we make up about holidays?  Here are a few:

1.  Food is integral to enjoying the holidays.

2.  I can’t say “no” to [fill in the blank – grandma, mom, dad, aunt sue].

3.  People will judge me if I change my habits.

Do these sound familiar?  Let’s take a look at them.

Food is integral to enjoying the holidays.  Lie!  Lie!  Lie!  Although this is such an obvious lie – don’t we all believe it?  And don’t we take it into many environments?  We believe we can’t enjoy a movie without popcorn, a baseball game without a hotdog, a state fair without cotton candy.

All lies!

Food doesn’t make the holidays.  In fact, if the food is the main focus, it’s time to go home and re-assess priorities! Something is out of whack.  The point of a holiday is what it celebrates.  Many of us are more focused on food than freedom on July 4th, and more focused on food than the religious lessons of Christmas or Hannukah.

Food can enhance a holiday, but only if we are consciously decorating the experience with delicate, fully enjoyed tastes.

Try shifting focus to the meaning of the holiday… see what happens.

I can’t say “no” to [fill in the blank – grandma, mom, dad, aunt sue].

If grandma, mom, dad or aunt sue told you to cut off your right arm and throw it away, would you do it?  Well, telling you to overeat has similar impact.  We may pretend it doesn’t, but overeating is, in the big picture, deadly.  Deadly to the body but the guilt we attach to overeating also kills the soul.

Not saying “no” means feeling terrible later, both with bloating, digestive impact, guilt and regret.  In the long term, it means not trusting yourself and living a lie.  Because, when we live with excess weight, we engage in an constant struggle to both (1) get free of the pain of excess weight and (2) pretend we are okay.  It’s a dilemma that degrades our trust in ourselves, and drains energy faster than that Christmas toy sucks up batteries.

Try shifting the focus to how your body will feel if you avoid overeating, and how light your heart will feel when not burdened with remorse. Know that you deserve that.

People will judge me if I change my habits.

One of the biggest made-up stories is if I never show people I’m struggling, no one will know.  Pretense again.  Either we pretend our weight doesn’t bother us, or pretend we never overeat.  Either way, we think we are controlling what other people think.  But, do you really think they don’t see the extra 30 pounds?  Or 50?

Trying to keep up a pretense, however, we are often worried about eating in a different manner around people who know our habits.  You meet a friend for lunch and she makes comments when you order a salad.  You go home for Sunday dinner and your mother, protecting her energy invested in making the food, or not wanting to have too many temptations in the house later, pushes food at you.

The truth is, sometimes when you change habits, people will notice.  When they do, it’s time to practice making and enforcing boundaries.

Sometimes they will not notice.  Many of my clients are shocked when they realize no one cares what they eat when they avoid the vat of high fat dip or cream cheese.  In this case, they have made up the story it matters to other people what they put in their bodies, as an excuse to continue destructive eating habits.

Try shifting the focus to what your unique body needs.  Unless you’ve just run a triathlon, or been trapped snowbound without food for ten days, chances are you really don’t need any of the holiday food being pushed in your face.

Finding Your True Enjoyment

Instead of accepting old norms or making up stories, try inventing your own pleasure around the holidays.  Excess doesn’t mean more enjoyment.  Excess means more pain, especially later.

Find people that know how to love lavishly and interact with them meaningfully.

Search for events that inspire and experience joy.

Create delicious pockets of peace and reflect on your blessings.

Most of all – Enjoy.

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