I responded by telling him “it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life” and he challenged me to write about the Ten Hardest Things I’ve Done in Life.

I love challenge.  So, in no particular order, here they are:

1.  I Gave Birth – Not much explanation needed here, if you are a woman.  My experience giving birth to my son was traumatic, to say the least.  If you are a man, compare this to war.  Complications, emergency surgery with you awake, scapels, your life’s blood spewing out, rapidly, like a geyser.  Then you begin a series of seizures, black out and see your husband’s face fade, thinking you are dead.

2.  I Lost Weight Permanently – In order to do this , I had to say NO to our entire culture that promotes, supports and reinforces diet/regain to make money.  I had to go against the grain, to say the least – I had to say “no” to my doctors, family, friends, the medical profession, therapists, and the diet industry.

3.  I Buried My Little Sister – I have buried my parents, even my best friend.  But my little sister was always in my life.  I was the only person alive who knew her every day of her life.  Sisterhood is a different sort of bond than any other.  She was 37, the only thin person in our family.  How was she thin in a family of addicted eaters?  She drank diet coke and smoked cigarettes all day, avoiding eating.  This ripped me apart, worse than those scapels in childbirth.

4.  I Sent a Husband to War – Activated into the air force on 9.11, my husband was part of the Enduring Freedom campaign.  Suddenly, any illusion of control in life was rendered.  No one knows what will happen, and you’ve got every single task at home to handle, plus a small child who’s terrified.

5.  I’ve Said Goodbye to Friends Who Didn’t Support Me – When I lived in a diminished place in life, I accumulated friends who liked me diminished.  When I grew beyond that, they became judgmental and negative about my accomplishments.  It was truly surprising to me, but they were not going where I was going in life.  It was time to part ways.  I thought I would have regrets; I have not.  My friends today are a thousand times more supportive and these relationships are based on real connection.

6.  I Left “Safety” for My True Work – I’ve had a lot of safe jobs in my life, but none of them fed me.  When I decided to start my own business and help others lose weight permanently and fulfill their potential, it took a huge leap of faith and trust.  It was scary, exhilarating, and ultimately very fulfilling to chart my own destiny.  But, I’m a cowgirl from Texas and nobody’s the boss of me.

7.  I Raised Myself to Adulthood – I could also call this “I raised myself out of addiction.”  I didn’t have parents who were mature enough to raise me.  One of them was an alcoholic, the other an addictive eater.  I finally realized I had to raise myself to maturity; there was no one else to do it.  Now, I think, who better for that task?

8. I Achieved my Master Certified Coach Credential – The ICF credential is coveted, because it is very hard to achieve.  The bar is high, the testing process grueling.  The passing rate is miniscule.  Other coaches told me “It’s impassable.  Don’t bother.”  But I had amazing experiences with other Master Certified Coaches in my life and I knew the power of their excellence.  I wanted to be that good for my clients.

9.  I Found My Home – My body was always a revolving door.  I rotated in and out of it, at will.  Accepting it and supporting it, despite its many challenges, helped me understand love in a whole new way.  Now, I see it is the only home I will ever have and I accept complete responsibility for it.

10.  I Designed the enLIGHTen Your Life! Permanent Weight Loss Course – In order to do this, I had to take all the lessons I had learned and translate them into lessons, augmenting them with research and scientific data.  I had to design them in a way that served class participants and “grew them” along the process of leaving diet mentality behind and truly taking charge of their lives and weight.  It’s a work of art.  People all over the world have taken the course and I’m very proud of it.

Has my life had challenges?  Yes, I would say so.  But, a friend of mine once remarked to me, “You’ve had such a tragic life.”

I was completely shocked.  I don’t see it that way at all.

I have had a blessed and amazing life.  I love my life and all life.  I don’t judge the pain differently than the joy.  We need both.

Every challenge gave me an amazing experience, a great lesson, a chance to show life who I am.  I know there’s a lot in life I can’t control, and I don’t even try.

What interests me now is showing up, fully, every day.

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

I wish I had come up with this name for the book I am writing.  The Hunger Games – doesn’t it sound like a self-help book for pulling yourself out of food addiction?

Well, here are some REAL Hunger Games we play.  Which one’s your favorite?

1.  Diet/Avoid Food All Morning and Binge the Rest of the Day

This is the surest road to excess weight.  I did it for years.  I thought I was “saving up calories” for the rest of the day and exercising my willpower muscles, but I was creating more hunger and programming my body to store fat faster and more efficiently.  I was also losing touch with what real hunger felt like and teaching my body I would not respond to its natural hunger cues.

2.  Plan Days/Events/Activities Around Eating

OK, my bad on this one.  It’s still my favorite example though.  I used to choose an Overeaters Anonymous meeting because it was near one of my favorite restaurants.  Since I was the one doing it, I can cop to it now.  It’s so counter-intuitive, it’s amazing.  Many of my clients tell me they hit goal weight in Weight Watchers and have already planned their “reward binge” or mapped out the directions to the nearest fast food restaurant.  Yeah, it makes no sense, but it happens.  A lot.  It’s a sign nothing has changed.

Do you choose events or movies because you like a restaurant nearby?  Does “being in the neighborhood” sound like a good excuse to hit a favorite type of food?  Or do you say, “Who knows when I’ll get a chance to eat this again?”  That’s not a real reason to eat, just a Hunger Game.

3.  Eating as Entertainment (Food Focused or Foodcentric Lifestyle)

When you get together with friends, family or a partner, is your main focus eating?  A movie is entertainment.  A bike ride is activity.  Eating is functional.  It’s the gas station.  Fuel.  It can taste great and transport your taste buds, but if it’s your main source of entertainment, it’s time to branch out and see more of life.

4.  Fear of Hunger

Many of my clients stash food in their cars, offices, gym lockers, computer cases and bedrooms so they will never be without a fix.  What’s so scary about being hungry?  Well, it’s usually not hunger we really fear, but the needs underneath.  These needs, often subconscious and unexplored, are darker and usually created long ago, in childhood.  However, it doesn’t matter if it’s unlikely to happen (running out of food or not being able to get to food in our society???), fear loves to run our behaviors.

5.  I’ll Fix it Later

This is my favorite.  We live under the illusion, reinforced by the diet industry, that choices today are unimportant because we have the ability to fix our weight later.  Have that rich, fat-laden five course meal and promise to run every day next week to make up for it.  Turn into the drive-thru – it’s OK because you’re going to the gym tonight.

This is simply untrue.  Dieting rarely works, and reinforcing this negative belief (or LIE) of the “quick fix later” just makes it feel true.  The truth is, once fat is processed, it’s more difficult to remove and resists dieting and excessive exercise.  In fact, the longer you work out, the less fat you will burn every minute.

Understanding how the body works is the key to ending the Hunger Games in your life.  Being consistently healthy is simpler and more effective than playing games too.

If you (or anyone you know) is ready to end the Hunger Games in life, share this post with them and check out my next enLIGHTen Your Life! class starting soon!  Click here for information.

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

I’m interviewing potential students for the enLIGHTen Your Life! course, my mastermind permanent weight loss course, and I’ve heard several people make statements like “I’m afraid to try weight loss again.  I can’t trust that I will lose weight and keep it off.”

When I ask them to explain, they mention trusting a diet, or a “plan.”

I like to gently point out that is not even a point of trust.

To lose weight and keep weight off, we only need to trust OURSELVES.

You have never failed at a diet.

I repeat:  You have never failed at a diet.

Diets always fail and always will.  If you’ve let the weight loss/regain process erode your trust, there’s a bigger issue here to address.  If you’ve forgotten how to do that, come join the course!

Learning to trust is part of the process of re-educating ourselves for long-term success.  Non-diet weight loss is so much easier than the alternative and leads to permanent weight loss because we create a new lifestyle and the kind of deeper change that has positive effect on behavior.

Why Trusting Ourselves is Important

1. It’s up to us.  We are responsible.
2. Trust is essential to the process of developing natural eating and activity patterns based on your own, unique body cues.
3. Attitude is the most important aspect of weight loss.  This requires “rewiring” the circuits in the brain.  It can be done and it helps establish or re-establish trust.
4. To lose weight permanently, we have to learn to cut through subconscious emotions that sabotage progress; trust is vital to this process.
5. Trust, once present, goes EVERYWHERE.  You don’t just suddenly leave it at home one day and abandon your deepest wishes.  It’s part of you, portable, accessible, and, therefore, powerful.

Think back to the times when you trusted yourself and really stepped into life.

Trusting may have felt a little wobbly at first.  It’s a leap.

But the leaps in life are important – that’s where we get to show up and put it all on the line.  That’s exciting and it’s memorable.

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

After losing that weight, I was determined to “keep” the results.  I knew from my research that permanent weight loss is defined by the medical profession as weight loss sustained for 5 years and more.  I also knew, sadly, it is very rarely achieved.

I had to keep learning and growing in order to maintain the weight loss.  In the last two years, I’ve lost more weight.  Today, I’m 92 lbs. lighter.

As I was thinking about this anniversary, it occurred to me that I got what I wanted.  How many times can you say you got exactly what you wanted (and more) in life?

I don’t call it amazing anymore, because I know the work that was involved.  It’s no miracle.  I literally “grew myself up” out of food addiction.  I found, for me, most addiction theories don’t work.  To me, they just get a person addicted to a program, instead of freeing them from the addiction.

In essence, the entire medical and therapeutic community says, “You are damaged and will always be addicted.  Here, be addicted to this, which we deem healthier, rather than that substance (food, alcohol, drug, sex).

That just didn’t work for me.

What I wanted was freedom.  Freedom was a huge value and driver of my behavior.  In fact, as a weight loss coach, it’s something I hear practically every day from a client, or two, or three.

“I just want to be free to eat what I want.”

It’s perhaps the most common derailer of the average diet, and why diets don’t work long-term.  When I was in the throes of addiction, the minute anyone told me “you can’t eat that” or “at your weight, is that wise?”, you could be damned sure I was going to eat it!  That’s the freedom value showing up.

Well, today, I am free.  I’m free of the compulsivity of addiction, feeling as though my actions are occurring without my permission.

I am free of excess weight, which hindered my movement, my self-expression, my comfort in the world.

I’m free of a host of medical problems.

I’m free of my excess weight making, refusing or coloring decisions for me.

Once I grew up, I discovered huge gifts:   Choice.  Opportunities.  Meaning.  Connection.  Self-esteem.  Love.

And true freedom.

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

For breakfast… one of the items on the menu read: “2 eggs, potato pancakes with applause.”  While applesauce is traditional with potato pancakes, some clapping might be tasty too!

I think I posted something like this in reply:  Maybe every menu item should come with applause.  Who knows, the food might not be necessary if applause is included!

What I’m talking about is appreciation, acknowledgement, and approval.

In permanent weight loss, we change the deeper reasons for overeating, so the behaviors (and weight) don’t simply return at the end of a diet.

When we consume too much food, we are eating for reasons other than hunger.  We are usually substituting food for something else we need and are not getting in life.

I’ll give you an example.  For the past 18+ years, I’ve made a secure, safe, warm, lovely home for my son as he grew up.  This was accomplished with many hours of invested time, money, resources, emotion and effort on my part.  I have shouldered the responsibility for every meal, piece of clothing, school and extracurricular activity, social events and celebrations, as well as life lessons for my son.  I only recently realized this often felt like a completely ignored accomplishment.  After discussing it, I realized it was not valued by my husband – no acknowledgement or appreciation at all!  (He puts it in the category of “expected” or “duty.”)

Something like that leaves a hollow place inside me.

So I ask you:

What do you need appreciation for?

What do you need acknowledgement for?

What have you achieved, which has met with disapproval from others, or hasn’t been noticed?

Post your real needs, we’ll applaud you!

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

Oh, brother!

I used to be surprised when a “fitness professional” said stupid things.  Now, I don’t even blink.

Since we’ve been preaching deprivation and diets in a mainstream for over 50 years, and developed a huge obesity “epidemic”, you would think the “fitness profession” (gulp, choke) would have wised up.  In fairness, many do get it, but deprivation and dieting stupidity still reigns.

Does dieting work?

No, if dieting worked, we would all be thin in America.  We diet more than any country on earth, and we are the fattest.  We need to wake up, get a clue and connect the dots.

Dieting leads to weight regain 99% of the time (when more than 25 lbs. are lost) and the average regain is 108%.  Does that sound like “working” to you?

Why doesn’t dieting work?

Dieting doesn’t work because it’s a form of malnutrition.  At any given time, more than half of all U.S. women are eating less than 1,500 calories a day in an attempt to lose weight. Almost 90% of seventh-grade girls are already malnourishing themselves on a regular basis.

Since that is not enough calories to maintain healthy body function, the body reacts.  It lowers metabolism.  It impairs thyroid, adrenal, pancreatic and other natural systems in the body.

Weight that comes back comes back faster every time a diet is undertaken, due to the impact on these regulating body systems.

My clients who have had weight loss or bariatric surgery have the fastest regain rates because of this impact – the faster weight is lost, the faster it returns.

In addition, since food becomes an “enemy”, food addiction, dysfunctional eating and eating disorders like binging and bulimia grow, destroying healthy mindsets, wreaking havoc on emotions and undercutting self-esteem.  This makes it so hard to escape the excess weight and find a healthy weight for life.

Been there, done that!  Stopped doing that too!

Stop doing that!

There are better and easier ways to adjust to a healthier weight, and keep the weight loss results.  As I approach my 12th year anniversary of sustaining substantial weight loss (74 lb weight loss 12 years ago +20 lbs in the last two years = 94 lbs total), I can teach you how to achieve permanent weight loss.

In celebration of 12 years, I have put two of my most popular classes on automatic download, allowing me to reduce the prices for you!  Check it out: Instant Access to Permanent Weight Loss.

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

There’s never been a time when there seems to be more controversy about weight.  Is it really “bad” or unhealthy to be overweight?  Although it’s a common part of the entertainment industry, does it serve any purpose to call someone out for their size, shape or appearance?

Is Your Doctor Helping or Hurting You?

On one hand, it makes sense that there’s a wide range of healthy but, on the other, does the HAES (Health At Every Size) movement help?  EVERY SIZE?  Yes, we can all get healthier, no matter what our size, but it’s simply not true that you can be healthy at ANY size.

So, what’s the medical profession’s role?  Well, right now it’s denial.  No less than four clients this week reported unbelievable denial on the part of doctors in their lives.

Example:  One client has a parent who is obese, has developed diabetes and a host of other severe problems as a result.  Upon seeing the parent’s doctor (because her mother is hospitalized with a severe condition related to the diabetes), my client asked, “Is now a good time to talk to my mother about diet and exercise?’

The doctor crossed the room to the mom, patted her hand and said, “Oh, don’t you worry about that.  It’s not your fault!”

Now, that, folks, is medical denial.  And most people respect and look to their doctors for truth and help.  It’s not happening.

The same patient asked her daughter, “Am I really obese?”  She didn’t know.  No one had addressed the issue with her, even when she was diagnosed with diabetes.

My own doctor never told me I’d crossed into that territory when I was 242 pounds.  Is it unusual?  No.

In a study from the Strategies to Overcome and Prevent (STOP) Alliance for Obesity, it was reported:

•  72 percent of doctors said they were not trained to deal with obesity and weight-related issues.
• Only 39 percent of obese adults were ever told by a doctor or other health care provider that they were obese.

I’ve long believed there’s a healthy weight range for each of us.  It’s roughly plus/minus 25 pounds on either size of an easy-to-defend weight, or your “natural healthy weight.”

If, say, 165 lbs is a weight where you find it (1) easy to move, (2) easy to do all the activities you like, (3) you have good numbers for all the major health indicators (blood pressure, resting heart rate, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc.), and (4) easy to maintain that weight, that’s likely your “natural healthy weight” or “ideal weight.”  It doesn’t have anything to do with what Hollywood splatters on the big screen.

Can you coax the scale lower or higher?  Yes, with effort.  We have a choice to pursue lower/higher and it may involve struggle and pain.

But, once you cross the line into an area where it is hard to move, uncomfortable in your body, I believe you are doing your body a great deal of harm.  Excess weight is hard on joints (ask my knee after 20 years of bearing excess weight!), hard on organ health, especially the pancreas which must monitor and adjust blood sugar levels.  It’s hard on the heart to pump extra blood through all the capillaries which supply excess fat with nutrients.

However, many of my clients report excess pressure tends to sabotage the movement towards health.  By not accepting a wider range of healthy, we are pushing people to attack their bodies in the hopes of reaching that “ideal” size and the result is more severe obesity when the body fights back with weight regain.

Somewhere, somehow, we have to starting telling the truth about ALL the risks:  (1) lack of awareness, (2) dieting, (3) attempting to attain a size that’s not right for your body, (4) the “public” pressure to be thin without a means to achieve it, AND (5) what it takes to achieve healthy, sustainable, permanent weight loss.

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

Why?

One of my brilliant clients coined a new phrase last week when she said many of her food habits had become more engrained than simple habits – they had deepened into behaviors – they were like

“behabits.”

It’s actually a great word because behavior is deeply engrained.  We don’t question it.  We often don’t realize it’s there.  And it causes a great deal of excess weight, the type of weight that resists and derails diets.

Behabits are stable, constant, consistent and insistent.  They are deeply hooked into reasoning – they make sense to us on some level and there may be a lot of defensiveness around changing them.

Is it a habit to eat everything on your plate or a behabit?

Is it a habit to eat at every movie or a behabit?

Is it a habit to eat when transitioning to home every day or has that become a behabit, something you feel you MUST do?

There’s a standard “break-a-habit” recipe in weight loss that says you can break any habit in 21 days.

I’ve always disagreed with this theory because of my experience breaking hundreds of poor habits while I lost weight permanently (-74 lbs GONE since the year 2000, another 20 lost recently).

A simple habit might take 21 or 30 days.

But a behabit might take longer.  It is so easy to give up on change.  It is so easy to mentally work our way out of it with an excuse, a drama or crisis, a denial or a procrastinating reason.

To make changes that last, we need to strengthen our physical muscles but also our patience muscles.

It just may be the most important thing you can do, if you want lasting change.   Giving ourselves the time necessary to break the deeper engrained behaviors requires patience.  Each behabit may take a different length of time to break.

I tell my seminar audiences that it took me almost two years to feel that exercise was my “norm”, not something I “had to do.”

But, since exercise is more important than anything else we can do for our health (IMO), it was well worth the time and patience.

The Payoff

What did I get for my 2 years of patience and love?  That change has been paying off for me for over 12 years now.  I have enjoyed a lower body weight, brilliant health (I track 25 years younger in my vitals), no illnesses, and ramped-up energy.  I’ve saved tons of money on clothing, food, pick-me-ups, insurance and diet crap.

There’s also a satisfaction of knowing that I’ve had real and substantial impact on my health and my future, and continue to do so.

So, what can some applied and directed patience do for you?

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

I guess it makes customers THINK they’re doing the big job, not the little (short-term) one.

My favorite “lifestyle change” quote came from a friend who dropped a lot of weight (temporarily) during the Phen-Fen pharmaceutical debacle.

As she ordered lasagna and whipped four packets of sugar into her tea, she proclaimed “It’s not a diet! It’s a lifestyle change! I feel so different!”

Well, with real change you don’t “feel different”, you ARE different.

Don’t be fooled. My friend’s sad truth is that she was losing weight on the scale but not burning fat. She was, however, burning valuable other elements of her precious body and wound up with heart valve degeneration and heart disease. She regained the weight and developed several debilitating diseases. Today, she is very ill.

Remember, we are constantly creating the future with our actions today!

The experience of watching this sad progression helped me stay connected to my own quest for positive, healthy, sustainable weight loss.

It’s not about food, or weight.  It’s about taking charge.  With lifestyle change, we make powerful decisions and don’t let anyone get in the way of our health.

No one will do this job for us.  It’s up to each of us.  Eventually we all have to say “NO” to the diet industry that wants us fat so we can continue to be “good customers.”

The Test

You’re on a diet if: you are losing weight quickly
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: you are losing weight slowly (the slower the better)

You’re on a diet if: you are focused on food change
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: you are focused on behavior change

You’re on a diet if: you eat according to someone else’s plan
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: you eat according to your body’s needs, discerned and decided by you alone

You’re on a diet if: you need high level, excessive exercise that constantly has to be increased in intensity, duration or exertion
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: you vary exercise based on your body’s needs and it feels pleasurable (yes!)

You’re on a diet if: you’re focused on willpower and mental effort
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: you’re focused on your body’s cues and needs

You’re on a diet if: food = trouble or food = enemy
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: food = energy

You’re on a diet if: you are focused on looking a certain way or seeing a particular number on the scale
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: your focus is energy, vitality and health

You’re on a diet if: you think positive change is about manipulating the body
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: you think positive change is about internal change and finding peace in your life

You’re on a diet if: you’re focused on now
You’re pursuing lifestyle change if: you’re focused on the big picture of your life

Long-term sustainable change is actually easier than fighting the body and living in food struggle. But don’t tell the diet industry that little secret!

A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach

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A post from: patbarone.com - Permanent Weight Loss | Weight Loss Tips | Weight Loss Coach