Right before the holidays, I was shopping at the local grocery store. As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw how packed it was. Busy day!
I located a parking spot and pulled in. Just as I got out of
my car, I noticed two families (each comprised of a mom and 3 kids) loading
groceries into their respective cars, a minivan and a SUV. Struggles ensued!
Both moms were contending with tired and cranky children, specifically their
male kids. I felt a wave of compassion. I remember shopping with young
children. It’s never easy.
However, I got fascinated by the mirror images I was seeing.
Two moms. Two different cars. Three kids each. Their female children behaving
quite nicely, their boys in the beginning stages of a meltdown – whining,
crying, complaining. One mother had a baby and one had a toddler. No issues
with them at the moment.
As I went to the back of my car to get my shopping bags, I
heard one mom say, “Jimmy, just get in the car! I’m going to get your box
of donuts for you.”
Jimmy looked to be about six or seven. My healthy eating
antenna went up.
I left the back of my car, coming along the other side,
closer to the second family, where I heard the mother say, “Eric, you say
you’re hungry. Would you like me to get you a string cheese from the bag, if I
can find it?”
I moved slowly and stopped a few times.
Now, I know I caught a moment in time here. I argued in my
mind it could have been a very stressful day.
But… the word that kept reverberating in my head wasn’t donut and wasn’t box… it was…
YOUR
“Your box of donuts.”
There was a box purchased just for him.
I thought, on your worst day, would you hand your kid a BOX
of donuts designated as HIS?
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you the relative sizes of the families. Their size follows their food habits
My Questions
My questions for you are…
With all the information on healthy eating for kids; the
publicity around the fact that roughly one-third of kids carry unhealthy
weight; and the fact childhood diabetes, a direct result, is an epidemic… WHY
would someone do this to their kid?
Research shows that nearly 60 percent of overweight children age 5 to 17 had at least one risk factor for cardiovascular disease and 25 percent had two or more. And obese kids have an 80 percent chance of staying obese their entire lives. – The American Heart Association
Is it as simple as not caring? Not having the luxury of
caring?
Is it denial?
Is it some sort of child-pleasing? Are we afraid to say no
to our kids?
Is it justification for our (the parents’) weight? I
remember one of my friends shrugging off her extra 200 lbs, by explaining,
“We’re just a big family.”
And how do we help kids being programmed to eat out their
frustrations with sugary treats?
Moderation
Now, one donut might be different. Although the protein
snack would have been better for Jimmy in every way, I like a donut once in a
while too.
One. Occasionally. Any healthy person’s body can deal with
that.
How do we help Jimmy and Jimmy’s mom?
In today’s world, are we supposed to look the other way?
LinkedIn just reminded me I’ve been in the business of weight loss coaching 17 years – Wow!
After losing 72 pounds – a process of weight loss that was different than any other time I lost weight in my life – I wanted to help others who struggle with weight loss. My own process had taught me thousands of lessons – and I’d struggled through without the benefit of assistance or support. Imagine what it would be like with that valuable cheerleader in your corner!
Most people I consulted in my 30-year weight struggle had no idea how to lose weight permanently – including doctors, nutritionists, therapists, personal trainers, dietitians and weight loss gurus. (Not much has changed there – They still don’t know the difference between losing weight and losing weight permanently.)
Because my DESIRE to lose weight and be healthy was so great, I had managed the setbacks and roadblocks, I had adjusted to every curve in the road, and I had grown tremendously as a person. I started helping people as a personal trainer and nutrition coach… but quickly realized I needed a greater tool and began my coach training with the sole intention of helping others lose weight by dealing with the grey matter between their ears – what was really holding them back.
But, I quickly learned change is change – no matter what area of life – and, once started, it spills all over life. Change is the most enlivening feeling on earth!!
After healing my own food addiction, I’m always happy and amazed when I open my freezer and see something like this:
It’s a milkshake with a mere few bites left in the bottom, stored in the freezer.
Why does this make me happy?
Is it some sort of trick, or sign?
Am I taunting myself with “forbidden” foods?
Is someone else tempting me or sabotaging my weight loss success?
Am I breaking all the “diet rules” by having this in my freezer???
No!
Not only do I have absolutely NO forbidden foods on a mysterious list – which is addictive behavior! – I am responsible for my own actions and no one can SABOTAGE me. My food addiction is healed, a thing of the past.
This is my son’s milkshake.
I might eat ice cream occasionally, if I want it, but milkshakes aren’t my thing.
I’m thrilled when I see this in the freezer because it’s a great big sign of HEALTHY.
First of all, my son is 24 years old, 6’1″ tall and weighs about 160 lbs. From what I can tell, he occasionally has one of these “mixer” shakes with his baseball team, after a game.
He left this in the freezer to finish another time, and he did this freely, of his own accord. He eats when and what he wants and he STOPS when cued by his body.
Watching the movie “The Founder,” in which Michael Keaton plays Ray Kroc, the mastermind behind the mega-successful McDonald’s hamburger franchise, gives a rare glimpse into the very moment America took the fat road.
It comes about one-third of the way into the movie. Kroc walks up to the McDonald brothers’ hamburger stand in San Bernadino, California and, before he finishes paying, is handed a paper bag containing his order.
We hear a thousand new messages every year about how to lose weight – new diets, new approaches, new “bad” foods, new fads, new “don’ts”, and new research, which is almost always paid for by an interested Diet World company.
We hear very little about how to lose weight and maintain weight loss all the way to a permanent state.
Permanent weight loss is my entire focus. The last time I lost weight was my last. It didn’t just happen that way. I had that determination going into it. And minus 92 pounds and holding steady at 17 years (on March 13, 2017) is damned well permanent in my book.
